It’s only natural that people take for granted things that they have for so long. That iPhone 5S which we used to brag for its fingerprint lock feature back in 2013-ish? Now it’s nothing but a display of history, or a secondary phone for your music and miscellaneous storage. That person who has been with you for your whole life (Read: parents)? Sometimes you de-prioritize them because cooler kids are in the town, waiting for you to hang out. That friend you had spilled your secrets to? Meh, another one bites the dust.
At least temporary. Until you lost them.
Until the memories started to rise up like a hot air balloon; slow but sure, and hangs around for quite some time. Until it hits you that you had had a choice to treat them better, and another what-could-have-been scenarios that only lives in your head and for yours only to enjoy.
Taking for granted is easy. Being taken for granted is not.
In the case of taking for granted, you just have to ignore all the sensitivity nerves you have. Ignore all the little signs like their desperate captions, their feeble and inaccurate description of their feelings, and shut down immediately any people trying to contact you, asking for advice or a simple listening. Just be the bad cop, ignore all of those signs.
In the case of being taken for granted, however, is a whole different game. One has that aching, invisible pain that trained eyes and heart could only see. Eyes that have been lubricated with a drop of sensitivity, also a heart that wants to understand people’s psyche. The taken for granted recently reached a place where they are seen by the spotlight, because people starts to take serious of mental health.
Me myself has been in both position. In my case, I realized being the taken for granted hurts after I experienced loss of a person I took for granted. It aches quite bad to see someone who was a part of my childhood gone within the nick of a time, caused by a simple problem: I took that person for granted.
And being the latter position hurts as well, three times greater than the former. Especially when the person doing that to you is considered a vital figure in your life. You don’t want to make a fuss because you understand that person. You understand that they won’t like it when they are bothered. That’s an assumption, alright, but that assumption has a strong position and could control your feeling.
“Just tell me when there’s something wrong. You don’t need to hide it.”
Easier said than done. It takes a good heap of courage and numerous consideration before the decision arrive. And every variable considered in that decision could shake the entire decision. Yes, it is encouraged to spill everything if you could. But not every person could do so. Everyone has this internal mechanism where they filter what they want to say based on their past traumas and tragedies, so it’s not always okay to wait people to spill their milk to you.
“Are you okay?”
Is a single word worth a thousand Thanos. It’s a word that when said, only lasts a fingersnap, but could change the entire mood if said in the right timing.
I know a person who bottled up his feelings for so long, keeping himself reserved for who-knows-how-long, and displays the poker face. Once he was asked “are you okay?” and his defense crumbled, he told everything to that person. That’s how powerful the word is.
So, I guess, that’s what I’d like to spill tonight. It’s a random thought, though. A thought came from reflection and several episodes of drama.