I’ve been pushing myself to write over the past two weeks.
It was hard for me to write because the intensity of work has become more intense along the time. Plus, I added some activities to my daily life. “But that can’t be a reason” my mind argued to myself, who are responsible as an authority over the whole body to order every joint to do this or that. “You still have to write, are you gonna leave that blog like the previous?” it added. I’ve written in more than 4 personal blogs and none of them are sustainable, those blogs are either contain too much melancholy, full of cringe, or complacency just get the best of myself.
From four of those personal blogs that are discontinued, I got a lesson that my consistency is questionable. This blog almost suffer the same fate as those previous blogs, the pattern of me writing something has something to do with my motivation. At the time I was so motivated by Haruki Murakami or Indonesian blogger-turned-writer, Raditya Dika, so there were barrages of posts in a short period of time. But along the way as I found something more exciting, I hopped off. This cannot be happening.
So here I am, back at writing cause I feel guilty to leave such a good user-interface (sorry blogger.com) and contents that I wrote by squeezing my brain to its limit. I really have to write again.
Anyway, during my absence of writing, I earn myself an epiphany that is… supposedly sustainable but I’ll get there slowly. There’s this website called Quora that displays many self-help, entrepreneurship, and everything-Elon-Musk question. You know, I’ve been struggling over the past months with motivation and life seemed to be conspiring to make me walk over conveyor belt over and over again. That emotion was reflected on my previous posts clearly.
Just by paying a regular visit there, I feel rejuvenated, reinvented, and ready to plug the cable and rock on!
It’s because I am exposed to a challenges that are… HUGE. I mean, all this time exposed great people are only a few. We know Warren Buffet, Peter Thiel, Satya Nadella, Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, or Steve Jobs. But that’s that, we don’t know anymore people with second-placed quality or more.
That makes me think those people might be born with superpowers or just huge percentage of luck.
While actually, they aren’t. Plus, what made me relieved is realizing there are some people like them who aren’t exposed yet but possess similar quality. This realization got me thinking that I someday could be one by doing tasks and being consistent.
It doesn’t stop there.
I feel like knowing myself more. Reading back stories of aforementioned successful people, how people are different with a lot of traits permutation, and why people are like this or that also somehow gave me a cool breeze in a desert. By reading their stories, they become reachable and I could see how many ladders I have to climb in order to reach their level, though painful and long, I’ll be there in the end.
My curiosity came back from its long hibernation. It fuels me to go miles again, just like the old times. Now I’m ready to run, walk, or even crawl for miles to satisfy my curiosity and my almost-insatiable longing of being a person of success.
Just when I thought I reached the end of the lane (I depicted it like Truman Show ending), there’s more to discover and it become endless.
Because when you think you are enough, there’s always more.
(Tried to sound wise but…. Okay, at least I tried.)