When I was in college, as told in previous posts, I think highly of myself. Of being unique, sharp, thoughtful, even have a hidden potential.
That kind of thought supposed to be happened on many people too. In college organization, your career is accelerated. Within three years, only three years, you could be the Deputy CEO of the organization, or Director, so to speak. The feeling of seniority boosts your pride and the thought that you are one hell of an individual.
Got invited by juniors to become a speaker in their internal seminar or event; asked by juniors for the advice; all that glamorous features that could justify your hubris.
At least that was what crossed my mind couple months back.
Graduated from college, I still feel the air of hubris. I can still feel the invisible power that enabled me to direct the organization or making policies.
But suddenly it came to my realization that the power can only be used at past time and in a little pond. When I start working, that became irrelevant. You become a fresh protege, someone who unknowingly enter the wrong wormhole and teleported from college to a whole new and realistic world. A superior is now above you.
Yes, you are going back to square one!
You have to shake the dice over and over again to go forth–or step backwards. Another sudden realization that all you have ever done was be the big guy in the toddler’s playground. Boom, mind blown.
All of things mentioned above hits me like a shrapnel shot by a sniper operating a Dragunov piercing through my skin. So fast, so poignant to realize.
The pride I built all these years starts to crumble slowly along with the realization that I am still no one in this big pond. I need to work my way out, shake the dice, deal with the “step backwards” command, even sweep through the bushes.
But most importantly, it teaches me to be more low profile. But also, do not stop or even quit.