“What I can do is to remember you by the faded pictures of you”

Every one will eventually get a chance to face loss. Time is the only thing in between loss and you. It’s not limited to only human; your beloved bed cover, prized-possession iPhone, extremely-cute pets, or even, feeling (in terms of platonic, affection towards friends, not only limited to love).

I remembered losing my prized-possession Game Boy Advanced SP. The first game handheld I have ever have. I can recall how happy I was back then to be able to play Pokemon Sapphire without having to use emulator. I even restarted the game and beat it 9 times without getting tired. But then it disappeared just like that, no trace, no sign, no goodbyes.

I can also recall the times when I have to leave my iPhone 4S to the newer version. Well, it’s just a month ago and the iPhone is still there, but the scenes that I went through together with that iPhone flashed in my mind. Made me a bit hesitated to leave it on my item box.

I have this funny tradition (for myself) to silently celebrate the birthday of things I have. It’s almost 2 years since I bought this laptop that I use, 7 years it has been for my Twitter account, 8 years for my Facebook account and so on so forth. Strange, maybe. But it’s just fun to attach myself emotionally to things.

Last year, I decided to sell my Nintendo 3DS because I was too broke to buy a guitar (which is not used now). After wanting it for roughly 7 years since I was 13 years old, I finally bought it in 2014 and for the first time (again) play Pokemon X without using emulator. And as said before, I grew attached to it. So when I decided to sell it, I made an emotional post on my Instagram about Pokemon team that should part ways with me.

And that’s just non-living things.

My thoughts recently are all about loss. Particularly human. Especially when I heard EXID’s Only One while watching the MV. If you are too lazy to press that play button (really?), the video is only 2:41 minutes, but hit me deep enough to make me think philosophically and relate it to real life. In the video, a woman is scrolling through her Facebook and KakaoTalk, chatting and calling her boyfriend to no avail. At first, I thought it was all about teensy-lovey-dovey story whatnots. But in the end it was revealed that the boyfriend (or fiancee) died in an accident.

What hits me is that the woman keeps on chatting, calling, and even looking at her video with the late boyfriend.

I mean, I can feel the desperate attempt to contact her boyfriend and reviving the memories by resuscitating it, but death means you are in a different world with your loved ones.

It hits me.

If we think a little deeper, death don’t always mean that your loved ones are leaving the world. It can also mean the people you loved before changed. The character you once so in love with, disappears. It just, vanish into thin air.

The message of the video gave me a wake-up slap.

That, people already changed. To echo the lyric of the song above,

“What I can do is to remember you by the faded pictures of you”

I felt that many times. People I once known was killed. Not by a killer or sharp things. But by time.

Time heals, but time kills.

Time creates progression, time mediates change.

Most of people I known back then, were killed by time.

They were replaced by a clone that looked exactly like them, with a different trait and memories.

We may think that they were killed by time. But to them,

We are also killed by time.


Deep condolences to those killed by time

God, please let me vividly remember the times when I was with them.


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